Although I was past the best age for a woman, I was thirty-six years old, but because of proper grooming, my face and figure still had the charm of that time, and I had made a fortune, I was quite attractive to men about forty years old. Among the many suitors, he was the only man who did not look at my property. He was the editor of a lifestyle magazine, widowed and with a 15-year-old son. I did not want to be a mother at the door, but his knowledge and temperament made me give in.

On Sunday, I kept my appointment. As soon as we met, he told me his misfortune with tears shining in his eyes. I sympathized with At his request, I met his son again, a very clever one. Very sensible boy. We didn’t talk much, but we talked very well. After a few dates, he started getting close to me. I let him carry me to bed and gently manipulate me, and I felt a pleasure I had never felt before. But as he pulled down my pants to move further, I felt a sudden palpitation and panted with my feet against his lower abdomen. He stopped panting and looked at me, clutching his stomach. I sat up quickly and bombarded him with accusations. After we had both calmed down, I told him my views on love and premarital sex. He listened silently, without expressing his opinion, but repeatedly apologized to me.

Back home, I feel so stupid, what age, but also so clinging to their own fortress. I hurt his pride and felt a little guilty. I thought I would give him what he wanted next time we met. After a few days I suddenly received a letter from him, opened a look, I was surprised, he decided to break up with me!

I turned on the radio and Pan Meichen sang “I Want to Have a Home”. With the melody of the sad sigh, my blood poured upward. As a woman, how I want to have a home of my own, how I need to have a man ah. In my own home and in front of my man, I was free to unfold the real me. If you want to cry, lie down in your lover’s breast and let the tears pour out; If you want to laugh, you stretch all the joy and happiness of a woman.

I still have a son, others say I am strange, rarely give me a proposal. Whenever I stand alone on the street, my thoughts are vacantly looking at the colorful lights, my strongest desire is: I want to have a man, I want to have a family! But I need true love I can’t trade my purity for a sexual partner. Why can’t I get what almost everyone else gets? Why can’t I get what almost everyone else gets? Is it my fault?


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